You may have heard about tantra during some late night googling or amongst cheeky conversations with friends about the sexy massages you’ve recently had. What is this mysterious ancient practice that originates from the Indian sub-continent and just how sexy is it?
I was born in Cooma, a small town in NSW. Like most LGBTQ+ young people, I experienced an intimidating adolescence with relentless bullying from scary older boys, which went unnoticed in the wide, brown countryside of the Monaro region. I can’t remember a time when I felt safe in my body and my sexuality growing up. In my twenties, I became afraid to date, addicted to online camming and riddled with sexual performance anxiety. The apparent sexual freedom and liberation of my gay peers only made me feel more broken and isolated. Tantra and sacred sexuality became my journey to find healing. With each sacred practice I started to feel a sense of lightness replacing the brokenness. I began to heal my sex life.
Mythbust: sex is only a small aspect of tantra. Tantra means ‘to weave’. In its essence, tantra is a spiritual practice concerned primarily with deepening oneself spiritually through intentional exploration of the five senses as a tool for spiritual growth. In some tantric lineages, this sensual deep dive includes sex as a small component of the system designed to further enrich spiritual enquiry. When tantra was introduced and popularised into Western culture in the late 1800s, many of the ancient practices and principles were lost or minimised. This period birthed ‘neo-tantra’, which emphasises the sexual healing components of the wider tantric system.
Neo-tantric practitioners like myself often blend the spiritual and personal growth aspects of traditional tantra with additional tools such as somatic practices, sexual healing and yoga. For this reason, you will see the term ‘sacred sexuality’ being used to describe this holistic, albeit non-traditional, tantric-inspired approach to sex, self-empowerment and spiritual integration.
Tantra is an ideal practice for LGBTQ+ folk looking to improve their self-image, sexual healing and erotic confidence. Many sacred sexuality practitioners, myself included, gently incorporate spirituality into the practice to support the goals and intentions of each client. Traditional tantric teachers may not focus on sexuality at all. It’s important to research practitioners and understand their particular teaching approach to make sure it suits your needs.
Tantra helped me find confidence in how I authentically love as a gay man, beyond sexual pressures and expectations. I look forward to sharing more with you about all things sex, love and intimacy in future issues of STUN.
